Time Together - Finding Ways to Connect with People Living with Dementia

Dementia changes how a person takes in and expresses information, so the people around them often need to adapt their own style. Communicating with someone with dementia may mean changing the way you talk and listen to the person you care for. As the condition advances, recognising familiar faces can become difficult. Some people may struggle to recognise even close family and friends, so you may need to be clear about who you are.

Good communication begins before the first word. A quick check that glasses and hearing aids are in use can remove a barrier that is easy to overlook. Sitting at the same level as the person and using their name can help keep their attention and support their sense of identity. Try to make eye contact, and step away from distractions. Reducing background noise like the TV, the radio or other conversations, makes it far easier to follow one voice.

Speaking In Ways That Are Easier To Follow

Speaking slowly, clearly and calmly gives the person room to take in what you are saying. Short sentences are easier to hold onto, and if a question does not land, rephrasing it often works better than repeating it more loudly. Trying a different way of asking a question can help when someone cannot answer in the way they once could.

Giving the person extra time to respond honours the effort they are making to find their words. Silence after a question is not a failure.

Speaking to an adult as an adult protects that dignity, even when a remark seems mistaken. Acknowledging what someone says and responding to it respectfully matters, and it is kinder to avoid patronising them.
 Where decisions about their health or wellbeing are being discussed, it helps to invite the person to share their own view first.

Reading Body Language

Words are only part of the message. Body language and facial expression should match what you are saying. A warm sentence delivered with a tense face can still feel unsettling. As language becomes harder, showing what you mean often helps more than explaining- pointing, demonstrating or guiding an action can be more useful than verbal instructions at later stages.

A touch on the hand to start a familiar movement, such as brushing hair, can let someone complete it themselves. The person may be able to brush their own hair if you begin by gently guiding their hand.

Engagement Through Doing Things Together

Shared activity can take pressure off conversation. When someone shares an activity with a person with dementia, it creates an opening for social contact and talk. Sitting beside someone while folding laundry or preparing a snack can feel far more natural.

Specific, simple requests tend to work well. Asking for a particular bit of help, such as stirring a pot or sweeping a floor while handing over the brush, often gets a positive response. If a task feels too big, breaking it into manageable parts, helping with the complicated steps and offering encouragement can make participation possible.

Prompting and encouragement tend to be more effective than criticism or correction. Everyday jobs around the home or garden can also help someone keep practising familiar skills. Being asked to help with simple tasks lets the person with dementia practise everyday skills and feel useful at the same time.

Memories, Music and Reminiscence

Looking back can be a rich source of connection. Reminiscence is especially valuable for people living with dementia, because remembering can build a sense of competence and confidence. Photographs, familiar stories and nostalgic writing can spark conversation, and the Alzheimer Society of Ireland's activity packs include all three.

Those packs also list reminiscence materials such as nostalgic texts, stories and photography, and are designed to support cognitive stimulation and conversation, and one set even is aimed at people in earlier stages who can engage independently, while another suits those in mid to later stages who may need help with activities.

Finding Company Beyond The Home

Community spaces can offer a welcome change of scene. The Alzheimer Society of Ireland's social activities include a monthly club where people can drop in to chat, access information and support, meet others, and exchange ideas and experiences. Engaging Dementia also runs a virtual Rainbow Café for older LGBT+ people, proactive allies and healthcare professionals, which is dementia-inclusive and welcomes people living with dementia and their family carers.

Looking After The People Giving The Care

Time Together is as much about the people visiting as the person being visited. Caring can be tiring and isolating, and support is available. The Alzheimer Society's advice includes considering a family carer support group, and the national helpline can be reached on 1800 341 341. Respite can also help, as it can give family carers time to rest, attend appointments or manage other responsibilities.

Technology can widen the ways people stay in touch, though Irish dementia organisations tend to present it as support for human connection rather than a stand-in for it. In dementia care, assistive technology should never replace human interventions underpinned by person-centred principles.

Plain, low-cost options are a sensible place to start, since assistive technology can be a very simple product, or a highly technical gadget. The HSE points to everyday devices that can help, including phones that are easy to use, and talking photo albums and television remotes that are simple to operate. Reminder devices also have a place. Prompts and reminders can help a person stay independent, particularly when they forget where things are or what they need to do.

A video call can bring a faraway grandchild or sibling into the room, letting a familiar face and voice do much of the work. Any device that monitors or records someone should be discussed openly with them first.

Not every option will suit every household- different technologies suit different people, so you may need to try a few before finding the right solution. Families can usually test equipment at no charge in a Memory Technology Resource Room, and a local Dementia Adviser can direct them to the closest one.

Technology works best when it starts a conversation rather than ends one. Choose tools together with the person, favour what they already find familiar, and keep the human moment at the centre.

Engaging Dementia traces its roots to Sr. Mary Threadgold RSC, a speech and language therapist who created the Sonas Programme. The Alzheimer Society of Ireland is the leading dementia-specific service provider in Ireland.

Engaging Dementia, by contrast, focuses on communication, engagement and connection. The organisation began in 1990 as Sonas aPc, was renamed Engaging Dementia in 2018, and has trained more than 3,000 care professionals through the Sonas Programme. It also manages a Dementia Café Network with over 70 locations nationwide.

Access Care Management has worked with Engaging Dementia before, including on a collaborative white paper about how technology can support dementia care, and we are pleased to share Time Together with our community. If you are a family carer, volunteer or professional, the booklet is a practical place to start, and if you are in a position to help, you can support the charity's work through its donation page.

You do not need the perfect words to make a visit count. A patient voice, a familiar song, a shared cup of tea and a moment of presence can be enough.